With the tenth anniversary of 9/11 behind us, and the ongoing financial woes, there seems to be a growing population out there worried about all the people and companies watching to hurt them. Why is everyone so paranoid these days? My plea to entrepreneurs is to recognize it as an opportunity, and go the extra mile to make people’s life better rather than stoke the fires.

I must be the only one who believes that most of the “watching” in the real world, and on the Internet, is done by businesses to help you find what you want, protect you, and improve your experience, rather than invade your privacy or scam you.

I certainly agree that just like in the real world, consumers have to assume that there are always bad groups on the Internet, as well as down the street, trying to rip you off, so stay out of bad neighborhoods, and keep your wits about you at all times. Internet users need to start watching out for themselves, like looking both ways before you cross the street.

In addition, there is a real business opportunity here for startups. I know companies who collect sensitive data from consumers all the time, and still seem to keep a squeaky clean image (Amazon.com, Ebay). There are others who are always a bit suspect, or have been hit hard by their mistakes.

The opportunity is to take advantage of the new power and tools on the Internet. Here are a few specifics on how to be part of the solution, rather than part of the problem:

• Put a personal face and address on your site; don’t hide behind an “info” email address.
• Make your company visible, reachable and responsive through social networks.
• Market your solution and user benefits, not the mysterious technology behind it.
• Use video and audio, rather than jargon, abbreviations, and computer lingo on your site.
• Make navigation simple and consistent, with abundant online help

The good news is that, if your company does it right, it might be another Amazon. There seems to be an insatiable demand from consumers for a better shopping experience, meaning they will pay a premium to a company that can present them a better match in products to their interests, without jeopardizing their good name.

In support of this, despite qualms, consumers seem very quick these days to provide more personal data to get something they want. Young people naively enter their pictures and personal data for fun on social networking sites, ignoring constant feedback from the media that these are bad practices.

The bad news for startups is that your company can lose big if it’s caught in the middle. A few months ago, the Sony PlayStation Network was hacked, with personal data of up to 70 million people stolen, and this black eye won’t soon go away. A few years earlier, PayPal was hit by a scam to get the personal information of its users, and some feel it hasn’t really recovered since.

Sometimes the problem cause is that startups forget the technical standards and quality processes that every Internet rollout must follow to reduce the risk. Don’t take shortcuts on these. I see lots of new software put together on a shoestring as a “proof of concept” – but then gets rolled out to customers “asis” due to lack of time or money to “harden” the product.

What I learned from a panel discussion a while back, sponsored by an association of lawyers, is that lawyers don’t have any answers, and are all too quick to fan the flames of fear and paranoia. They merely highlighted consumer privacy rights, with much hand-wringing about big bad companies that are capturing shopping habits without consumer knowledge on the Internet.

A better approach is to use your marketing power to tell people that you can now ring their cell phone in front of their favorite store for a special sale, and allow them to “opt in,” rather than surprising them with your new technology. Few people are paranoid about something they want and expect. That’s just good business.

When I heard a friend make the statement “Your startup can’t fail if you don’t quit,” I realized that every entrepreneur should adopt it as their mantra. Pivoting or dealing a new hand is not quitting. If we all take this mantra, we can drastically improve the statistic that over half of new startups fail within five years. Nothing is more discouraging to future entrepreneurs than a failed startup.

Why do most startups fail? There are a thousand reasons listed by pundits across the media, but most of them agree that the number one reason is NOT running out of money. The number one reason is that the founder quits. Of course, they may be quitting because they ran out of money, but good entrepreneurs tell me that running out of money is most often an “excuse” rather than a “reason.”

Let’s take a look at the main reasons given for startup failures, and suggest some alternatives to quitting:

• “I’ve lost interest – I don’t want to do this anymore.” This suggests you have lost your passion for the current business model, probably because someone suggested you change from your original concept to make it easier, or to make more money. My suggestion is to morph the current idea into one you love and enjoy, rather than quit and take an employee role you never wanted.

• “I can’t find any investors in this economy.” If you can’t bootstrap the venture yourself, find a partner, friend, or family member rather than a professional investor to carry some financial weight. Otherwise, look for advances from distributors, vendors, and even future customers. Try bartering services you have for something you need. I’ve seen countless creative solutions to the cashflow problem, from people who don’t quit.

• “The people around me are all turkeys.” We all make people mistakes. So you made some bad hiring or partner decisions. Now is the time to face up to these issues and move out the people who don’t fit, rather than let them destroy your startup. The sooner it is done, the happier both of you will be.

• “I don’t have the skills or discipline to run this business.” If you knew everything that had to be done, and could do it easily, you would be bored and lose interest (back to item #1). If millions of people all over the world run businesses, there is nothing implicit in the role that is beyond normal intelligence. Half the fun is learning, so get started today, don’t be afraid to ask for help.

• “I finally realized there is no market for what I do.” Big markets rarely spring “full grown” out of nothing. Every entrepreneur has the challenge of making a market, or differentiating his product to match an existing market. Every startup I know has tweaked (or totally transformed) their product several times, rather than quit.

• “I grew too fast and everything is spinning out of control.” This is probably a good reason to scale back and focus on organic growth, but it’s not a good reason to quit. You must have something of interest, or growth wouldn’t be the problem. Reset to the basics, get financial or management help, and failure should not be an option.

Another important point is that even if you declare your current startup a failure, don’t let it defeat you. Most people agree that we learn more from our mistakes than from our successes. The bright side is that investors tell me they are wary of funding an entrepreneur who has never failed (in his own mind), since that often leads to a cocky and unrealistic view of future expectations.

Overall, my view is that starting a business is just like everything else. Nothing important is all that easy, and all of us stumble a few times and pivot along the way as we learn. There is a real difference between cashing in your cards for a new hand, in the face of unbeatable odds, versus quitting and walking away from the challenge. You don’t learn any lessons by walking away.

Don’t charge the hill until you are “ready.” This probably seems obvious to military types, but I see entrepreneurs violating this rule all the time. They approach key potential investors way too early, trying to talk their way up the hill, with no supporting business plan, and before they have a support team around them. Needless to say, they usually get shot down, and get no second chance.

The first rule is to separate your advisors from your investors. Perhaps a close personal friend can be both (the earliest stage and first tier investors should be “friends and family”). But for angel investors and venture capital investors, just remember that investors are not on your team (yet). You only get once chance to make a great first impression.

Continuing with my military analogy, here are some logistics, suggested ammunition, and an assault strategy (the bold points apply to every aspect of building the business):

1. Do your reconnaissance first. Before you meet a potential investor, check them out on the Internet and through your advisors. You need to know exactly what the investor has done before, what he is doing now, and what will interest him If you walk into his office cold, and can’t convince him you meet his interests, you will walk out cold.
2. Coordinate and brief your support team. Make sure all your advisors and team members know exactly what your mission is, and if possible, have at least one of them make prior contact to set the stage. If the investor thinks you are coming to ask for domain advice, and you ask for money, your success probabilities are shot.
3. Fully prepare for the assault. Don’t try to talk and demo your way up the hill. Talk bounces off and won’t stop any bullets. Lead with your two-page executive summary, be prepared to give a ten-slide investor presentation. Keep your big guns, the business plan and financial model, in your holster but visible for backup.
4. Put your ear to the ground before charging ahead. Offer to give your executive presentation, but he may want just the elevator pitch. Listen, and follow his lead with confidence and enthusiasm. Don’t insist on a product demo – he is buying the business, not the product. If you have an hour, use no more than 30 minutes for presentation.
5. Follow-up to assess progress or casualties. Have someone else, if possible, follow up with the investor the next day, to find out what really happened. If you didn’t learn anything from the meeting, you weren’t listening. Most VCs won’t volunteer to the founder what they think, because that limits their options later.

By now, you are probably saying that this is “old school;” when going to Sand Hill Road offices was like going to the principal’s office. There you were ushered into a gorgeously appointed conference room for a precise amount of time with a serious-looking partner. Now some VCs and angels actually hold court in a nearby Starbucks or Paradise Bakery.

But believe me, investors are, if anything, tougher now than then. Don’t be fooled by the informality. Preparation, professional image, confidence, and strategy are just as important as they ever were. The strategy of “I’ll talk to him informally and early, find out what he doesn’t like, and then I’ll fix it,” is pure folly. Napkins don’t really work as your business plan.

Some of the most prepared “teams” I have seen are essentially one person, with a few part-time advisors, who seem to overcome all obstacles. One person can look like an army charging the hill, if they use all the networking facilities of the Internet, all the tools available to build business plans, financial models, and product prototype.

Don’t be afraid to use some mercenaries to back you up (outsourcing, consultants). All the shortcuts up the hill are rigged with minefields. Better safe than sorry. This is serious business.

Over the years, I’ve had the privilege of working with some of the best entrepreneurs in Silicon Valley and elsewhere. On the average, the entrepreneurs I know are struggling. But one thing they all seem to have in common is a love for learning and change. They rush in with a passion to better the world, and money is just an indication of their progress.

The successful ones then invest their time and money in furthering their knowledge base. I’m not talking about academic classes, because at best these only teach you how to learn. In these days of rapid change, most experts believe that the facts college students learn as a sophomore are obsolete before they exit their senior year.

Learning should be viewed as an ongoing part of everything you do, and one of the most important things. It’s an unfortunate artifact of our educational system that young people spend a dozen years focused more on memorizing facts than the learning process, and then thinking that they will have all they need to know for the rest of their lives by the time they graduate.

In business, as in most other disciplines, there are practical steps towards learning what you need for the next stage of your company and your life. These include the following:

• Networking with people who know. A question I sometimes get from startup founders is “What do I talk to these guys about?” I say you can’t learn much if you are doing all the talking. Just ask investors what they look for in successful companies. I’ve never known any successful entrepreneurs or investors who were not happy to share their secrets.

• Read entrepreneur stories. Most successful entrepreneurs have been written up on the Internet, or in magazines, or books. Spend some time with these biographies and soak up the insights and inspiration. Follow up online with social networking to make contact, dig deeper, and maybe even line up a mentor.

• Adopt a mentor. Boomers who have been there and done that make great mentors. They have the time and interest in “giving back” some of what they have learned to the next generation. Gen-X executives are too busy running their own companies to be mentors. A mentor is someone who doesn’t let ego or money get in the way of helping.

• Formal learning. Some formal learning is always advisable, but get beyond university MBA courses to professional seminars and case studies. Formal courses work best for basics, like a business start-up course or financial accounting. Go with topics you are interested in and need today.

• Volunteering with local organizations. Work is highly valuable in any environment of universities and professional organizations. The payback is that you can get experience for free, while working on real stuff. I’ve done business plan judging at local universities, and learned more than I contributed.

• Just start a business. There is no better way to learn about being entrepreneurial than starting a business. No matter how much advice and counsel you have been given, I guarantee that you will encounter new challenges daily, to enhance your learning opportunities.

If you are one of those people who likes structured classes for learning, and counts on spending at least two weeks per year in the classroom to “catch up,” that’s laudable, but don’t try to start a business at the same time. It won’t happen.

If you have decided to become an entrepreneur solely to make more money, you are also likely to be disappointed. It’s that double challenge of learning to overcome all obstacles, while still surviving on the financial front, that keeps a good entrepreneur motivated to face a new day. Join us if you dare.

Even when your startup is a one-man show, you will soon find that you are “out of control,” unless you start organizing and writing down how and when key things need to get done. Like it or not, you are now entering the dreaded realm of “formal business processes.” The right question is “What is the minimum that I need?”

The simple answer is that you need to implement one process at a time, starting with those things that are most critical to your business, until you feel a relief that things are starting to happen naturally and consistently, without the attendant stress and continual recovery mode. If you feel that the process itself is a burden, you have likely gone too far.

Here are eight key business tasks that relate to almost every startup, generally prioritized by criticality. Think about the implications of each to your own business, and the potential impact of getting them done incorrectly, or forgetting to do them entirely:

1. Manage your financials and physical assets. I’m continually amazed at the number of entrepreneurs who go for months into a new business without really keeping a formal record of money spent or assets acquired. Use a simple accounting tool like QuickBooks, get away from co-mingled funds, and you have the first business process you need.
2. Develop your business plan. Write down the key elements of your business plan very early, and keep it current as things evolve. This will include the first version of many critical processes that can be split out later, including market opportunity, requirements, product definition, business model, sales process, and organization.
3. Product development process. Even if you are doing the work yourself, you need to document requirements, features, metrics, and milestones. If you are contracting or outsourcing, this is even more important. Otherwise you will find yourself a year later being no closer to a product that you were yesterday, with no idea why.
4. Funding process. Unless you are bootstrapping everything, you need to have a clear plan on what networking and documents are required to get to friends and family, angel investors, and institutional investors. Measure yourself against a researched plan, or your “out of cash” brick wall will be looming before you know it.
5. Manage human resources. At this stage, you should start recruiting, hiring, paying, and training others to help you run your business. In addition to effectiveness and consistency, you now have a myriad of legal and tax considerations to get right. Don’t try this without a formal process.
6. Leverage information technology. Find an IT person you can trust, and plan how you will acquire, implement, and utilize computer technology to run your business. How do you access the Internet, what servers do you need, applications required, databases designed, and backups scheduled? It all has to be written down and maintained.
7. Billing and revenue collection. Whether you provide an online subscription service, or sell products in a store, you need to consistently and economically sell your product and collect revenue to survive. Here you will likely need to train others to help you, so more detail may be required in this process.
8. Customer service and support. Here is another often overlooked area of process that kills many startups, both in cost and time. Don’t assume that you can fix every problem yourself, or that there won’t be any problems to fix. Even if your business is online, people want a contact, real expertise, and quick response.

If you are a great startup, you won’t just copy the processes of your competitors, even in these basic elements. Innovation is the key, to keep each process small, but make it more effective than competitors and big-company processes.

But having no process does not make you more competitive. In my experience, no process sounds more like a hobby than a business. Hobbies can be a lot of fun, but they usually cost money rather than make money. What is your business objective?

A while back, when a startup founder mentioned to me that he wasn’t sure he had the personality to be an entrepreneur, I realized how important that insight was. My first thought is that if you are more annoyed than energized by expert advice, team suggestions, and customer input, then you should probably avoid this line of work.

Actually, it’s more complicated than that, but that’s a good start. After working with entrepreneurs for almost a decade now, I have developed a good “radar” to quickly recognize mentalities that will likely pass the test of investors, employees, and customers.

But it’s easier for me to look in from the outside than it is for you to look out. So here is a list of mentality characteristics which I believe are absolutely necessary for you as an entrepreneur to see in yourself. On the other hand, if you see any of these causing you stress and discomfort, you probably won’t be happy in the role of entrepreneur:

• You enjoy being the visionary leader. Being able to envision what the business and the industry will be like in years to come is a skill that can guarantee that you will be around for the long haul. What makes most success stories in business is not totally reinventing the wheel, but leading the charge to make the current wheel better.

• Sometimes you are creative, sometimes logical. A successful entrepreneur has to come up with innovative ideas, but also turn them into a value-creating profitable business. That requires good amounts of both “left brain” and “right brain” activities, with enough common sense to find the balance.

• Risk energizes you. To really enjoy the ride in the world of entrepreneurship, you need to be able to sustain yourself outside of your comfort zone and have a sense of adventure. Startups never ever go as you anticipated. This is why you need to be ready to go “off the script” and improvise, and enjoy the thrill of victory when it works.

• Actively seek others input. The quicker you learn not to take it personally (and it’s hard when it’s your business and your creation), the more successful you will be. You will always come across people that will criticize you, no matter how great or valuable your product or service may be.

• Motivated yet patient. When you start a business, you need to have the frame of mind that this is what you want to do for the rest of your life. Most people want financial freedom, but they want results immediately, and that is not the case 99% of the time. Most successful entrepreneurs understand that overnight success takes years.

• Jack of all trades. When running a business, you’ll be doing a little bit of everything. You have to be good but not an expert at everything you do, and you have to know when to be flexible and when to ask for help. If you are one to specialize in just one thing, then running a business might not be for you.

If you don’t fit into everyone’s personal view of an entrepreneur’s mentality, please don’t be totally discouraged. Winning businesses have been started by people of every type. Yet overall, the facts are that about two-thirds of startups fail, so think hard before you ignore warning signs.

I’m convinced that if entrepreneurs spent half as much time evaluating themselves and what makes them happy, as they do writing business plans, and visiting with attorneys and accountants, they would be winners far more often.

Finally, don’t forget that the most important mentality aspect is to always do something that you enjoy. Life is too short to be going to work every day unhappy. Beyond that, I believe success is a state of mind derived from confidence, self esteem, and what you really want in life. How strongly do you really want to manage a startup?

If you really want to impress a startup founder as a potential employee, or you want to be a smart investor, you need to know the right questions to ask. These are the questions that get past the hype of a founder “vision to change the world,” and into the realm of real business strengths, weaknesses, and current health.

Some founders try to deflect these questions by talking incessantly, so you often need to be calm, patient, and persistent to get the answers. My advice to founders out there is to not volunteer too much, but be open and honest in the face of direct questions like the following:

1. What is your burn rate and runway today? These are investor slang terms referring to how fast money is being spent, with an implicit question of how long the startup can survive before breakeven or another cash infusion is required. You need to know this as a future employee, since it probably gates how long your new job will last. If the runway is less than six months, with no new source signed, both you and the startup are at risk.
2. How much “skin” is already in the game? The intent of this question is to determine the level of commitment of founders, both cash and “sweat equity,” and how much others have already invested into this plan. Implicit in the analysis of the answers is how much progress has been made for the investment, and how stable the business is now.
3. What’s the total history of this company? Gaps in the history of a startup are big red flags, just like gaps in your resume. If the company was incorporated five years ago, and is still in early stages, with the same founding team, chances are slim that it will suddenly get back on track with you as an employee, or you as an investor.
4. How well do the founders get along with each other, and with the team? The smartest people are often the most eccentric, so some conflict in the ranks is normal. Excessive conflict, lack of communication, or lack of mutual respect is indicative of a dysfunctional team, and eventual failure of the startup. You won’t get this answer from the founder, but it’s not hard to get it by talking to other team members.
5. What’s in this deal for me? Investing in a startup, or joining a startup, is always a very big risk, so the potential return better be large. As an employee, you salary will likely be low, your job security low, so the job title better be large, and the stock options better be large. As an investor, look for an ROI that is 10x your initial investment, based on something more than a dream from the founder. What traction can be measured today?
6. Who do you have as outside board members? The only true outside board or advisory members are not family members, not current investors, but are experienced entrepreneurs with deep knowledge and connections in the relevant business area. They should be asking to speak to you if you are a potential investor or a superstar hire. If you talk to them, they better know the answers to the previous questions.
7. Who is a real customer that I can talk to? Real customers are ones who have paid full price for the product, have it installed and in use, and are still satisfied. Free trials don’t count, betas don’t count, and “excited about the potential” doesn’t count. If there are no customers yet, when will the product ship, and how many times has the date been set?
8. How realistic are the business model and financial forecast? Does the financial forecast makes magical assumptions, like acquiring an arbitrary number of new customers each month? Does the business plan call for the headcount realistically necessary to develop and support the product? These metrics can and should be benchmarked against those of other firms in the marketplace.
9. How solid is the intellectual property? Provisional patents, or lawsuits pending, don’t add up to a strong sustainable competitive advantage. You need to know these things before you put your money on the table, or bet your career and your family’s future on this startup.

Again, I’m not suggesting that you go on the attack to get answers to these questions. But don’t let management divert you with comments on your failure to understand “the vision and the big picture.” If you are a potential employee, it probably makes sense to get the job offer first before you tackle some of these, always staying calm and assertive.

In the parlance of an investor, asking these questions and getting answers is the heart of that mysterious “due diligence” process. Now you know. If you are a potential employee, you need to do the same due diligence before you sign on. Every good founder will have done the same on you, before they make you an offer.

“Will the dogs eat the dog food?” This rather crude expression weighs heavily on the mind of all good startup founders, no matter how confident they appear. We all know the products they give away, and the ones purchased by family and friends don’t count. The real milestone, proving the business model, is that first product sold for full price to a total stranger, leaving him happy.

So what can you do to expedite this event, or even improve the odds that it will happen at all? Of course, one sale isn’t really enough, so you need to get the first customer to recommend you to a second, and make sure rate of sales ramps up quickly enough to keep the business alive and growing.

This whole process is particularly worrisome to many startup founders, since their expertise and background more likely technology than sales. If you are one of those, here are some basics principles you should follow and live by until that milestone is behind you:

• It’s the market, stupid. I still see too many entrepreneurs who build a product and spend lots of money because THEY are in love with the idea or technology. There is no substitute for good market research, talking to experts, analyzing the competition, and listening to potential customers from day one.

• Sell what you have, not what you dream. Customers don’t buy the impossible dream. I believe in pre-selling and early marketing, but make sure you don’t oversell what you can deliver. I recently knew a founder whose sales pitch was always the next generation of his product, and he never understood why customers always decided to wait.

• Your revenue model has to make sense. If you lose money on every sale, it’s hard to make it up in volume. On the other hand, if your price is over the moon, even the best product features probably won’t sell it. Many of the Internet business plans I see these days say the service is free, and revenue will come later from a huge user base. You need deep pockets to make this one work.

• You need a sales channel that works, and one you can afford. Even with the global reach of the Internet, selling your first product from your website will likely not be much of a business. To get the reach you need probably requires one or two levels of distribution, partnerships, or joint ventures. Direct sales are too expensive, and word-of-mouth is too slow.

• A product, without customer support, is not ready for sale. Remember that your ultimate goal is satisfied customers, not just the best product. The sales process has to be smooth, the customer support impeccable, and the customer-facing people delightful and empowered.

• Selling is a learned skill, and takes effort, just like building a product. Everyone in your startup needs to understand sales, and needs to be a salesman. Don’t assume that only “fast talkers” are good salesmen, or that you can hire a good salesman at the last minute to sell your product. The best salesmen know their products and their customers better than anyone else, and they believe in both. That should be you.

I’m certainly not suggesting that you wait until all these items are perfect before you open your doors. If you do that, you will never achieve this milestone. The real job of an entrepreneur is to manage the right variables, with the right level of risk, to get and stay just one step ahead of their competitors.

What I am suggesting is that you laser focus on that first real customer from the very beginning. His real requirements might keep you from getting sidetracked by all the neat features your technology could deliver, and your dreams of delivering the perfect product. What you really want is a successful business and all your customers to be happy puppies.

Most entrepreneurs who start a company alone soon come to the conclusion that two heads are better than one – someone to share the workload, the hard decisions, and the costs. In a moment of crisis, you may be tempted to take on the first person expressing interest. This would be a mistake, and could easily cost you your startup.

If you think about it, you should realize that not everyone is ‘ideal partner material.’ Most of us learn that in other partner relationships, like dating and marriage. First you have to be clear on who you are, and who you can co-exist with, what complementary skills and resources you need, and what decisions in the business you are willing to relegate.

Second, in your search for partners, you need to be aware of the many considerations that can make the difference between success and failure in the business, as well as your satisfaction with the relationship. Bringing money and connections is great, but other less tangible things can rip the business apart:

1. “Let’s keep it in the family.” On the surface, this seems like a great strategy, with a “share the pain, share the gain” outlook, or just cheap labor. In reality, the pressures of a relationship break up more startups, or vice versa, than running out of money. Investors routinely decline to fund co-founders who are siblings, or in a romantic relationship.
2. “We both have the same vision.” There is usually only room for one in a vision. Even if the endpoint is the same, there are many different roads to get there, and it’s hard for a startup to be on two roads at once. It works much better when one partner is the visionary, and the other is the pragmatic “get it done today” kind of person.
3. “All decisions will be made jointly.” Two people making a decision need a tiebreaker, and three or more take too long. There is certainly no problem with each partner making decisions in his area of expertise and responsibility, but one has to be in charge. VCs routinely ask “Who is the final arbiter?” and the answer better not be ambiguous.
4. “We are so alike, we finish each other’s sentences.” You really need a partner who is complementary, and can tackle the operational roles, like marketing, finance, and sales. A partner who is a carbon copy of you will likely mean two people working on every problem, rather than a natural separation of duties. Most startups can’t afford that.
5. “Our work styles are different, but our goals are the same.” Some people are early risers and expect to tackle the tough problems early in the day. Others don’t get rolling until noon, and save the hard discussions for after dinner. No problem when things are going well, but in the hard times, emotions go up and communication goes down.
6. “We have different values and ethics, but share a passion for this business.” Partners who don’t share a common regard for regulations and boundaries are doomed to high levels of stress and frustration. Some people like to live just over the limit, while others have a high sense of integrity and morality. It usually doesn’t work.
7. “I’ll put in the money, if you put in the sweat equity.” I’m not suggesting that co-founders should be equal contributors on both sides, but the parameters for “equality” better be well understood and well documented. Things happen, memories change, and soon both sides feel under-appreciated and over-utilized.

We all know of some relationships that seemed mismatched, but worked out well, so the real test is the test of time. Just as you should take some time to explore if your love interest would make good marriage material, I encourage you to take some time to explore if your fellow entrepreneur would make good ‘partner’ material. Avoid ‘whirlwind’ business partnerships.

In all cases, once you have decided that it’s time to seal the deal, be sure to establish in writing your working agreement, as well as ownership shares. Only then is it time to celebrate and look for angels on your way to heaven.

Every entrepreneur should spend plenty of time thinking about competitors, and how they relate to your business, but you need to be very careful what you say out loud about them to your team, your investors, and your customers. What you say speaks volumes about how you think about your startup, how smart you are, and your personal integrity.

I’ve spent hours talking to startup founders, and heard a thousand startup pitches, and I always listen carefully to what is said (or not said) about competitors. Everyone has a view on competitors, so you will likely get some off-the-cuff questions on this subject as well. Here are some common pitfalls or traps to avoid:

• Above all, don’t say you have no competitors. This statement is a huge red flag to investors, who will take it to mean that there is no market for your offering, or you haven’t bothered to look. Both conclusions will kill your credibility, and usually preclude any further funding interest.

• Avoid degrading or demeaning your competitors. Talking about competitors is your opportunity to make positive statements about the advantages of your own product. For example, “Compared to product x, my solution will get the job done in half the time, and at half the price.” Don’t say “Product x is more expensive and hard to use.”

• First-mover advantage is a double-edged sword. Being first to offer something is often used to cover the fact that you have no patent or intellectual property. Investors will conclude that you are highly vulnerable to the deep pockets of big players who will wake up and kill you when you show traction. The best defense is a dynamic product line.

• Don’t be caught not recognizing a suggested competitor. Do your homework ahead of time on all potential competitors you can find on the Internet, from industry magazines, advisors, and team members. Great momentum in a meeting can be killed instantly by apparent ignorance or bias against a proposed competitor.

• Don’t forget to mention alternatives and substitutes. Make it clear that you have considered competition in the broadest sense, including indirect competitors and alternative solutions available. You won’t get any credibility for refusing to admit that airplanes are competition for trains. Always present a balanced and honest picture.

• Watch the timeframes implied in comparisons. Making a big point that your competitor is missing a big feature today that you will have when you come out next year is not very convincing and doesn’t make you look smart. If it’s important, he’s probably working on it also, and has a big head start on you.

• Competitors exist now and in the future. You can make real credibility points on this one by suggesting future competitor directions, and what you are doing to head-off these initiatives and advantages. Remember that the world is a small one these days, and international considerations, as well as technologies, are important.

Remember that investors invest in people first. They are looking for you to be smart, but present a balanced, realistic, and honest view of competitors. Trying to finesse investors who have real questions about competitors is not the way to close an investment deal, or even convince a customer to buy from you.

In the real world, you will never have perfect answers to questions about competition, because you can’t know what they might do before or concurrently with your delivery. Your challenge is convincing investors and customers that the risk of following you is less than the risk of relying on competitors. That’s a lot easier if you believe it yourself, and present a balanced view with integrity and conviction.